Thoughts from our children.....

Since we found out about Josiah, about 20 weeks ago now, we have tried to be as honest with the kids as possible.  We were advised to be simple, and real with the kids.  

Luke ( age 4 ) talks about Josiah as his brother, and he even included him in a picture that he drew of his family for a pre-school project.  However, I don't think that he comprehends much of what is happening.    He will kiss my tummy and say good morning to his brother, but his level of understanding seems pretty simple.    The deepest thing that I have heard him say is that the good thing is that if Josiah lives, we will be happy, but if doesn’t he will be with Jesus.  

Ashley on the other hand,  ( age 6 ) has been asking questions and processing for months now.    The sweetest thing to me is her prayers.  She prays that God will help him to grow up to be at least a big kid, like at least 10 years old.  We told her that he has a “boo-boo” on his lip and that his heart has a small hole in it.  She also knows that one of his eyes may not work well.   I love the way that 6 year olds think... she said that she is not worried at all about his lip, because she saw on t.v. where doctors can do surgery on this.   I think she saw a commercial about the missionaries that donate their time/skills to fix cleft lips overseas. 

She has said several times that she feels sad about Josiah.  She told me the other day that she felt like she wanted to cry.  She also said that she wished that Josiah was a twin, because if he doesn’t live, she would at least have new little brother.  She really wants to have a new baby, she is definitely the nurturing type.    The good news about her sadness is that it doesn’t seem to last for days on end, she will say things like this, and then a few hours later be super silly and laughing hysterically.  This is refreshing to me, my kids laughter is so refreshing.  

In an effort to prepare her for what may happen,  I told her that the sad news is that he may not be alive when he is born, and that he may not be able to come home from the hospital.  She thought for a few minutes and said, I know mommy.  But, she insisted, that even if he doesn’t make it, she wants to hold him.   We will do our best to make this happen for our sweet little girl.   I plan to try to take her to pick out some things for her new brother that she can give him.  Ashley has the gift of giving.  She loves to share her things!  I am so proud of the way that she gives to others and thinks of others needs.  She will often pick out one of her toys to give friends that come to visit her.  We gave her $15 dollars the other day at the pool store to pick out some new toys.  She was in such deep thought about what to get, and when I questioned her about it, she said that she was hoping to find two things that she could buy, because she wanted to give one thing to her cousins and one thing for herself.  She decided on a pack of diving sticks and wrote names of her cousins on each stick to give them.... I love this about her.  

She also came downstairs the other morning with her pink, satin blankie all wrapped up and said that she wanted me to get Josiah’s box down so that she could put the blanket in it.  We have a special box for Josiah, and are keeping keepsakes in it.  She wanted to give him her special blankie!  She is really a tender heart.  

In an effort to stay positive, I wrote down all the blessings that this pregnancy brought to our family.  One of the greatest, is a new appreciation of the three healthy and beautiful kids that we have.  Now, I am not saying that there are “those days”, but overall.... I just have to say that I am amazed by their uniqueness and so appreciative of these three little gifts.  Just as I am thankful for the unique gift of baby Josiah...as I write this, I am 36 weeks along.  Just a little more time before we meet!  One of our biggest hopes is that we will be able to meet him while he is living.  There are so many concerns about him not making it through birth, so please keep this in mind as you pray for our family.  We all hope for that opportunity.